Dear daughter, the greatest thing I will ever make,
I have so many hopes and dreams for you and even though we haven't met, I already know what kind of person you will be. You will be kind, curious, fearless, loving, fiercely affectionate, witty, determined, and brave - everything I am that I love about myself, and everything I am not that I wish I could be. I hope I bring you into a happy family who adores you for the bundle of joy that you arrive as, the independent child you grow into, and the free adult you will become. I hope you rise with the sun each morning with a new dream, and lay down your head under the moon with a full heart. I am excited to help you hold a spoon and tie your shoes and ride a bike and pick a college and paint your first apartment. I am excited to watch you, and most of all, I am excited to watch you watching me. I have so much love to give you, I hope you see it in my eyes every time you stare at me, when I'm too busy doing mommy things to tell you "I love you".
I hope you love Barbie dolls and their little shoes and hair brushes and tiny plastic forks and fake plates of spaghetti, so on days when I am busy writing and daddy isn't home, you can make little worlds of your own. Worlds where women are tall, beautiful works of art with secrets hidden behind their painted smiles and endless possibility awaits them each day.
I hope you love to read. I can't wait for the day that the light behind your pretty eyes illuminates when you realize that words aren't just squiggles printed on a page, but instead words dance, skip, cascade and tumble, and my little one, they are magic. The most powerful magic in this world. I can't wait to hear your first nervous giggle when you put together the letters c-a-t and somehow a little brown tabby cat appears in your mind, purring and pawing at a ball of yarn, and when you look at me in shock and wonder at this puzzling magic, I will laugh and cry and then help you turn the page. So many stories and feelings and adventures await, and I will teach you to read and write them. And through this, you will appreciate language and people and places as if they are parts of a continous story unfolding, and you will never be alone.
I hope you love music and I will teach you to make it. I hope you are bold enough to tell your first boyfriend that you love him, not caring that he hasn't said it first. I hope you enjoy every rainy April day with a cup of tea, every hot August afternoon with a lemonade and every New Year's Eve with champagne. Every day is a reason to drink and laugh and marvel at how lucky you are to be alive.
I hope your heart is never broken. But I have seen the world, so I know it will break, and I know you might not come to me when it's in pieces. Remember, my love, that a heart is the only thing in this world that can break again and again and mend itself again and again. How precious and how miraculous you are, to have a resilient beating heart. How beautiful and how wonderful you are, to still wear that smile on days when you don't want to leave your bed. How forgiving and how strong you are, to never cease believing in love and friendship and loyalty.
I hope you find your unique role in the world and you can leave it a better place than you found it. It needs you, it's been waiting for you. There is so much to change and so many people who need help, and I want to hear all about the day you discover your undeniable talent and how you plan to better humanity. I will celebrate your strength and I will push you in the direction of your dream. If you want to make art, I will buy the paints and clay and teach you to think wildly. If you want to serve your country, I will teach you to be fair and good before being daring. If you want to rocket to the moon and never come back, I will learn to love the night sky even more because it will be your new home, and the moon will be my daughter and she will be beautiful.
I hope you are brave when I am gone and I cannot help you face the challenge of loss and sadness. I will die with dignity and grace, so that when your days comes and I cannot be there hold your hand, you will remember how proud and content your mother was. You will depart this world with a smile and a fearless longing to greet the unknown, remembering that you and I, and everyone you will love and lose, will reunite in eternity as everlasting stars.
Daughter who I haven't even met, we are going to have fun and you are going to change the world. You are going to change me. And I will always, always, love you.