---
what good is a heart
to a human
if it does not beat in time
with the ocean's thunder
and if, with hummingbird wings
it does not flutter
when you see the face
of the one you love
---
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thewanderlingpoet@gmail.com« February 2018 | Main | April 2018 »
31 March 2018
30 March 2018
Begin again
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I crumbled
and then it struck me -
I've been measuring my worth
in all the wrong ways
---
29 March 2018
28 March 2018
seeking self: finding balance ❁
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For some time, I've been obsessed with proving that I can be comfortable in solitude. Then I caught myself, and re-drew the path.
Am I stronger if I can be confidently unafraid of going weeks without human touch or interaction? Perhaps. But I won't be impressed with myself. Admittedly, it doesn't take much to be with yourself. After quieting the voices & fears, breathing calmly, and finding some peaceful pastimes that fulfill you, the rest is easy. Being alone becomes easy. It's being among others that challenges your soul.
That's when you have to learn the fine balance between being in the world, and being of it. How to rise above when so many hands are dragging you down? How to keep loving people when they only seek to take advantage?
If you drain my happiness, I will release you. That is the vow we should all take. So running away to avoid pain & suffering is often necessary. But if you consider yourself to be more evolved than the average human who is merely fighting to survive, then I firmly believe you'll see you're capable of much more if you stay. Retreating into permanent solitude defies the true purpose of spiritual awakening, which aims to deepen your personal pool of love, so much so that filling another's cup leaves you unaffected.
You alone hold the power of balancing how much you give and how much you get - something I remind myself several times each day.
Consider your spiritual evolution. What have you changed over the years, and why, and how? Most importantly, who helped you along the way? People - their words and actions, their love and their hurt, their inspiration and generosity - these are the things that have shaped the oscillating energy that dances between your bones. Replenish the sea of universal love. Be that very person who once helped you. There are many incredible things that a human can achieve on their own; we've seen men & women swim across oceans, create unimaginable art, overcome physical disability to perform astonishing feats. But how do you grow, after living in the dark for so long that you can't recognize your own glowing form?
Maybe you see yourself through the eyes of another, for a while. Maybe you learn from example, or failure. Maybe you donate your time to helping someone who teaches you about value. Maybe you make a new friend, leave behind an old one, and make connections that introduce you to outlets of expression & peace that you would have never known if you walked the Earth all alone.
And of course, maybe once in a while, you reserve moments to refill yourself in the quiet of nature, or in the comfort of your home. We all deserve that; moon-like, to hide away a part of ourselves for a while. But be unafraid to return to the chattering, chaotic, and senseless world. You are greater than you know, and they need you. Who is "they"?
"They" are your family who sometimes drain you, but have given you love & life that you would be foolish to not reciprocate. They are your friends who know your faults, but choose to share your company because they see your unique capabilities. They are the strangers who have become acquaintances, who are fighting battles that no one can see, but are uplifted by the smile you don't even realize you give. They are the eyes reading these words, who I might not know, but have so much love for because I recognize the painful condition of being human and hope to spread hopeful light. They are you and me, who were so lucky to meet exactly where & when we did, because we've touched each other and grown together in unforgettable ways.
I stand in the middle, between giving and receiving, recognizing the limitless, divine love in my heart and the kindness I have to offer. I am unafraid to love & to lose, because I expect nothing in return. All is temporary: just passing through. In the end, the very end of everything, your soul takes nothing with it except impressions of energy - the impressions of those you touched, and touched you.
---
- faren rebecca rajkumar
27 March 2018
mother's arms
---
bewildered
by the words of those who
feed me false scripture
who lift me up & throw me down
and prefer to be alone
but never are
I run to you
and I thank you, Mother
for accepting my tears
for once, lonely becoming
a comforting place
among your flowers & your falling sky
almost reborn
more shadow than woman
exactly as the Sun
intended me to be
somehow,
somehow, sadness
lives there still
and this is how I know
I am weak
but I am always alone, and braver for it
and will accept the kindness of praise
but only from you, Mother
for attempting to save my soul
I only wish
all the unseen love in my heart
was enough to save you, too
---
photo: sunset at Chassahowitzka Wildlife Management Area, march 2018