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I can't recall the exact moment that it fell from me - my old attachment to a person, a place, a time, that I once loved. But fall it did, and now here I am, all the better for it.
Like footprints, there is much we leave behind.
More often than not, a thing becomes a fixture of the past with good reason. People who abused you, habits that hurt, places that became too small... Feelings are perhaps the hardest to leave behind. But I've witnessed them melting from me in their own time, and I suppose that is the secret: time. It truly does heal. Have pure trust in time.
But what if you don't have time to wait? What if you need to cross the border of a memory quickly, so you can carry on with life without painful sadness & longing? If you are trying to move on from a personal weakness, I can offer a little advice:
In a short time, I've managed to move on from colossal insecurity. How do you reconcile with that, or any, unwanted feeling? Simply determine if the restlessness is caused by something you can change. Then change it. But if you are being made insecure or unsure by something beyond your power, cast it from your thoughts and occupy your time with worthier concerns that affect your destiny. Focus on reshaping yourself since you cannot reshape the past or others, and be careful not to mold a hardened version of yourself - keep soft, keep gentle, remain open to possibility. Just because you've been burned doesn't mean you'll never feel again. Don't commit any injustice against the beautiful future that awaits.
I've somehow managed to move on from many things in this way: affection, heartbreak, empty friendships, vices, delusion, depression... I've left many people in the past, and it was rarely easy. The hardest part was conceding that moving on might feel better than holding on. But now I understand; why clench your fingers around broken glass?
I constantly remind myself that moving on is not the same as forgetting. If something or someone changed you for the better, then never forget. Just muster the strength to relinquish attachment to that source of change, and carry on with worship of your evolved spirit, rather than worshipping memories for the rest of your days. "You were mine for a time, but now I open my palms, and give you back to the cosmos."
But if you are trying to move on quickly from loving someone, there is nothing I can say. Only you know what your heart requires, and if it is capable of shooing away the butterflies.
Hold on tight. Then let go.
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- faren rebecca rajkumar