Wanderling❁

last act of charity

 

 

---

and this truth is greater than the sun,

the moon, and all the lesser stars:

I would have been grateful, if I

had been the receiver of my own heart

instead of someone else, instead of you

and now, I imagine I will be

---

 

photo: moon over Little Manatee River State Park, december 2018

gaia

 

---

knocked down, again

crying on my knees

but I keep on living

and always forgiving

 just as the earth would

so I'll be one of her trees

bending when the wind comes again

---

 

garden of you

 

 

---

you are the blossom beneath my skin

soothing every ache with color & calm

the voice in my head, telling me

to breathe, when the sky is falling

a whisper of wind against my cheek

with the gentleness of the kiss

I am missing, while I wonder

if you are missing me, too

and I pray, to be forever walking

in this secret garden of you

---

 

photo: feeding tree nymph butterfly, Florida, december 2018

let me sleep

 

---

past midnight, and here I lay

in bed next to you

and I can't sleep

between tears and restlessness

while you are deep in a dream

breathing, heavy

unaware that I am in mourning

and from my empty hands

you are already gone

---

 

emptiness

 

---

apologies -

that is what I will give him

if he is sad enough to ask

I am sorry, but

my body, that is all

I can offer

to whoever he might be

I cannot give my soul

a third time

- go ahead, ask me

what I mean

--

 

Change in season

 

 

---

you begged, "please"

"please don't wait for me"

but don't you see

I am a flower, asleep

beneath the Earth

trembling,

waiting, is all I can do

---

 

photo: bluebell flowers, Cambridge, England, may 2017

Thank you

 

---

thank you, for trying to find me

a place in your heart

I know it wasn't easy

making room among the rubble

and burned away pieces

but I saw your hands bleeding

to create some space

and this, I will never forget

---

 

my sweet

 

 

---

you will glance

back, at this fight

this holding on

and laugh, ah

how much easier it was

the letting go

---

 

photo: sunset over Florida, december 2018

shadows & light

 

---

my world, without you in it

is a strangely sad and beautiful field

holding the promise of snow

on quieter days,

naked trees waiting to know

when they might breathe again

but between the stillness

the light,

how it lives

---